2012

Now only I realise that Im a coward. Everytime I heard someone mentioned abt the end of the world, I'll have nightmares. Not that Im afraid of death(actually, I am),but Im afraid of the way I die. Maybe I watch too many movies, I just can't get rid of those fearful scenes. For the whole day, I'll be imagining myself in that situation and figure out what will happen to me at last. Th results are usually negative, which makes me moody and down. I know, I mustn't give up hope no matter what, and dont be panic, think hard to rescue myself. Yes, my mom always reminds me about this. The problem is, am I strong enough in both mental and physical? Can I stand the pain? These are all unknowns.

I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!! I have so many things that I wanted to do. I am still young, I have my ambition! Please, give me a chance to live. I know all living things are born to die. I dont have superpowers and Im not a vampire. I AM A TINY, MORTAL AND FRAGILE HUMAN BEING.
In the end death will still approach me but Im not prepared, yet. I want to die in peace, not full of regrets. When the time comes, I will accept it with open arms but not NOW.

I cant predict what will happen in the future, I might be a victim someday, who knows? I hope I can spend my life with lots of memorable and happy events. I want nothing to bother me untl the day I close my eyes forever.

Anticipation

A little bit dizzy after I had my 'snack meal'. My hands were weak, I tried to hit the walls hard, but it turn out to be bleeding. xp. yeah, what a stupid act.
When I reached home, I slept for an hour, woke up to bathe and continue sleeping till 8pm. yes, im a pig, i know. My head was kind of heavy, ishh, fever.
Ok, straight to the point. Tmr i'll have dental check up, and I dont rmb what time. The thing is, the YEs have a mini gathering tmr because 2 of the Japanese staffs came here fews days ago!!! I wanted to meet them so badly, haha, I miss them very very very much. It's at Mid Valley, 10.30 am- 3pm. I thought I probably cannot go bcause my parents are busy, luckily my dad agreed since the gathering itself has unsur 'Lions Club' in it. haha. Im damn excited now, although i can't stay very long.
Hmm,what shall I wear tmr?

Disappointed

*Sighs*...why must I burn midnight oil every single day? 10/2/11 = A TIRING DAY. Im lazy to type the whole story out but I guess everyone knows what I mean.

Eh to, gomenasai neh, can't go to ur hse. Maybe next time or perhaps years later since you said this is the 1st and the last time. Nothing happen, I just want to accompany my grandma. She'll go back on Sat so I think I should appreciate this short period with her. Haiz, Im kinda disappointed too... but after thinking abt my parents schedule and the transport problem, I decided not to go. We finish BC class at 3pm. If I go to ur hse, I need to be at Q's hse b4 7pm which means I have to start preparing at 6pm something. Afterwards I come back home arrd 8-10pm and it's bedtime. The next day grandma will leave in the morning or maybe afternoon. So the time I can spend wif her is fr 3pm-6pm = 3 hours only in a day. I still have so many years to spend with all of you but only a few years to be with the old ones (choi! choi!).
Well, enjoy yourself and dont miss me too much. Have fun there!

Im coming home

I will be back on the 8th!!! Well, it's hard to describe my feelings now, complicated. I should be happy because im going back soon after so many days in Japan...But somehow, I have a feeling that I'll miss this place ALOT ALOT ALOT!

Looking forward to my brand new school life, 4 Kamil. Oh, I need to finish the homework 1st...sigh. There are so many things that I need to complete as soon as possible, wondering how am I suppose to manage my time. Ugh, burn midnight oil again huh? Cass...Cass...

Btw, Bye Arashi! I won't be able to watch your show in Malaysia, Sayounara! Anyway, I have your DVD! lolz... hmph, EDAGAWA MITSUYO a.k.a mama, I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU INFLUENCED ME TO BECOME ARASHI'S FAN!!!!
1. You have so many posters of Ohno Satoshi in the dining room! (bathroom as well)
2. You only listen to Arashi's song in the car! (116 songs, all Arashi...)
3. You have Ohno's sticker on your hp!
4. You watch Arashi's show EVERYDAY! ( you even record previous episodes...)
5. You have damn many CDs and DVDs of Arashi! ( The concerts, albums, dramas...etc)
6. You told me so many stories about ARASHI!!!

Everyday arashi arashi arashi arashi arashi.....I guess whoever lives with you will like/love Arashi within a week, how scary...

Geez, found my 1st idol in ... JAPAN!!! That's just UNBELIEVABLE! T.T

HAHA.Thanks to both Edagawa and Hori family for taking good care of me. Well done! I seriously enjoy my stay here. Arigatou Gozaimas!

The 4th Day in Japan

Finally, I reached Kyoto! Kyoto is located 5**km away from Tokyo, this distance took us 8 hours!!! GOSHH!!! We eat and sleep all the way, oh, and some mini games too,thanks to the Japanese staffs. Arigatou!

Kyoto is considered as a historical place, so the buildings are kind of tradisional and aren't that tall compared to Tokyo's. Surprisingly, the place we are staying is way better than the Olympics Imperial Youth Hotel in Tokyo (actually both are wonderful,but I preferred the one in Kyoto).

Besides its beauty, the reason that I like Kyoto's hotel is.......FREE Wi-Fi is AVAILABLE!!! I can finally use Internet after so many days, YAY!

P.S: I haven't use their public bath YET, looking forward but too shy to be naked.(especially with familiar ppl.)XP

my to-do list

YAY!!! PMR is finally OVER!!!! i have plenty of things to do,which are:
1)watch 'colourcloud palace' I LOVE THIS ANIME VERY MUCH!!!but the original version is a novel,guess i'll buy it a.s.a.p
2)read naruto(online),the storyline is getting more n more exciting!
3)play puzzles (1500 pcs , a 'cinderella dancing with her prince charming' pic)
4)haha,I have 10 books to read!!!(plus the one i bought it today---pride and prejudice and ZOMBIE)
5)ugh.i must practise my piano,exam is coming this NOV

^.^ SECARA TUNTAS,THE DAYS AFTER PMR IS AWEEESOMEEEEEEE!!!

道别

致我最敬爱的阿公——姚和自

《道别》

窗外红橙色的天
象征秋天的季节
叶子向我道别
随风飘到另一个世界

柳树婆婆落了叶
枝干摇摆说再见
鸽子向海道别
飞到远处的南方避冬天

***
一生短短几十年
请通知一声才道别
再坚强也不是铁
需要时间来准备

花儿开了总会谢
期盼着另一个春天
人生共有多少回
只求大家有缘再相见
***